The Castle Tap

The Castle Tap, 120 Castle St., Reading, RG1 7RJ.

Castle Tap

What do you do when you hear the term ‘craft beer pub’? Delight at the prospect of interesting drinks, ‘artisanal’ cheeseboards and barmen with sleeve tattoos, an extensive collection of vinyl EPs and lumberjack beards? Or do those words make your jaw clench and your anus contract? Your reaction to The Castle Tap will depend on your answer to that question…

Drink Selection: Potentially second to none in town. Alongside the three cask ales, there are fancy craft beers (which we’ve nowt against in and of themselves) and an extensive collection of exotic foreign bottles. So many, in fact, that you need to pick them from a brochure kept behind the bar. The pub’s from the people behind The Alehouse and The Harris Arcade beer n’ cheese shop The Grumpy Goat, which explains the range and borderline beer fetishism.

Location: Marginally out of the way for passing trade, you’re unlikely to stroll past it. Unless you’re slung out of the police station and head the wrong way into town. For a mini crawl, you could start here and then head to The Sun and then The Horn. It’s up to you, though. We’re not your mother.

The Castle Tap
The bar. Obviously.

Food: There’s no cooked grub on the go, but lactose-tolerant snackers can dig into the previously mentioned cheeseboards. And not ‘chessboards’ as we originally wrote for some reason. Either way – neither of them should be on a pub table. Peanuts and dominoes, sure. Cheese and chess? Not for our money.

The Castle Tap
Bag a table at The Castle Tap and expect to find evidence of cheese eating. Chutney in a pub… Mike from Only Fools and Horses will be spinning in his grave.

Decor: Half Hackney hipster hole, half posh railway tavern, the 1,500 Watt lightbulbs make for a stark, unforgiving scene. The hospital theatre-style lighting illuminates the bare floorboards, giving the place a seriously austere, clinical look that makes it constantly look like last orders. It’s tasteful, no doubt, but about as welcoming as getting called a prick on the way in. Smart? Yep. Cosy? Nope.

The Castle Tap
Look! A bloody chessboard! We knew it…

Punterwatch: There’s a small smattering of locals from the olden days, but most people have seemingly make the trek out specifically. Mostly IT types who are on the spectrum and talk slightly too loudly about Linux and go to Bowling For Soup gigs. Admittedly, that description applies to about 80% of Reading, but you get the point. They say ‘amazeballs’ still and leave house parties at 10pm. They watch Battlestar Galactica and… Well, you see what we’re saying here.

Beer Garden/Smoking Area: There’s a small beer garden out back and little alleyway you can use.

Toilets: Normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. Apart from signs for events like these:

The Castle Tap
“And this Laughing Cow is just divine with a Foster’s Radler.”

Sports? There’s a ‘TV Room’ out the back which is carpeted and nice enough, so we’re assuming there’s Sky and BT. Unless they just put old videos of Time Team on, we’ve no idea.

Price: You’ll pay for the fancy efforts, but you’d expect to. Ales and lagers and cider actually come in a pretty decent price. Watch out for the old ‘two thirds of a pint’ effort, though. We paid £4.20 (easily the priciest draught on the go) for a strong craft beer and only turned out to be two thirds of a pint. Which we were warned about, admittedly. It’s worth a casual glance at the chalkboard menu before ordering. You can pay on card on orders over a fiver.

The Castle Tap
“SLAY-ER!”

Visible Savory Snack Selection: A few Kettle Chips-style crisps and the expected Mason jars of pricey cashews and the like.

Pub Games: There’s a pretty unused dartboard, that’s your lot.

Seating: Unless you have cushions surgically attached to your buttocks, you’re unlikely to get too comfortable. They might look snazzy when the place is empty, but hard wooden chairs and stools are no fun for sitting on. Piles sufferers beware.

The Castle Tap
Red hot wood on wood action. And potential fire hazard.

Any Other Comments: The Castle Tap replaced the ultimate backstreet boozer, the scruffy Irish pub, The Horse & Jockey. A lively place with a community atmosphere, those in the know will remember it as much for its welcoming feel as for its embracing of the two forbidden ‘A’s – afters and ashtrays.

The Castle Tap
The Aitch n’ Jay. Much missed.

Pubs like The Castle Tap are like Coldplay. Technically good, lots of people like them, but we don’t really want to be inside them. As Coldplay is music for people who don’t really like music, The Castle Tap’s a pub for people who don’t really like pubs. That’s the way we see it, anyway. You might like it.

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10 thoughts on “The Castle Tap

  1. Alan Bumder November 20, 2015 / 11:23 pm

    I live across the road so if the toilets are busy, you can come and have a shit round mine.

    Like

  2. Bobbybottler November 21, 2015 / 9:15 pm

    Sounds like a pub for cunts.

    I’m IN

    Like

    • Whitespirit May 16, 2016 / 1:35 pm

      Nah, I doubt you’d be that welcome to be honest. Try Weatherspoons instead.

      Like

      • Shit Things May 16, 2016 / 2:01 pm

        Come, now. Shades of grey and all that. There are pubs in between ‘spoons and daft places like these. Like actual pubs that aren’t decked out like train station waiting rooms.

        Like

  3. Doodie January 1, 2016 / 4:10 pm

    We took the trouble to walk up to this place, last night.

    We stayed for one two thirds pint each.

    We left a bit confused. It was full of twenty/thirty something beardy/mummy people who were REALLY shouty and ‘pretentious, moi?’. In all fairness, the ’70’s Railway Waiting Room’ acoustics probably amplified their voices.

    The lighting was headache-inducing. I swear that the council could get away with removing the street lighting outside.

    Is the owner a cheese monster? Bar snacks on offer… Cheese board of super smelly cheese and… erm…. Cheese Pots.

    This is very much a locals pub. I’m really pleased that they took on the old place and made the effort to stop another English pub closing. Fair play to them. However, if they want to expand footfall:

    Get dimmer switches and candles (and save on bills)

    Expand the menu. If it ‘has’ to be veggie, then advertise as such. I’m a carnivore, but would eat hummus, garlic bread, salad etc

    Find a way to dampen the acoustics

    (Or maybe they’re just happy with a cliquey clientele who speak SQL and FTP and guffaw loudly)

    The atmosphere felt like the Winchester Tavern in Shaun of the Dead

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shit Things January 5, 2016 / 8:38 am

      Top observations, those. And spot on.

      Like

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